Our sexual freethought broadened since the Internet came along. The best porn sites gave humans an unlimited amount of freedom and anonymity. It opened the floodgates of the most repressed and suppressed sexual ideas and urges. Plenty of extreme sex toys for couples have introduced.
People used simple sensual massagers and soda bottles to suffice the void left by the demonization of sex. Now, anything can pass as a sex toy, depending on how creative the user is. Even a baguette can pass as a Mandingo tool.
The fact is that not only men use sex toys like it was before. Hetero and homo couple now enjoy these toys together too! Sex toys made for a couple’s enjoyment are some of the most weird design items in their market.
There are horrible toys and there are simply odd ones. Some are just plain creative that they impress even conservative people. In this article, we’ll talk about the funny and ridiculous ones. Well, anything can be funny depending on your individual humor. The pleasure devices we put on our list guaranteedly make at least one half of the couple laugh.
5. Pig Tail Butt Plug
Oink, oink! If you want to play a scene where you want to soil on the submissive one and make her/him feel like a moral pig, well, no other can fill the need, literally. If you’re in the early 20th century, you’d think that no civilized human in his right mind will even dare design a deviant item like this.
If you browse this item, you’ll see people (although only a few) actually expressing their satisfaction over this device. The pig tail butt plug is marketed as a new source of enjoyment for couples. It is one of the ultimate extreme sex toys for couples.
Extreme sex toys for couples – the value
We recommend this toy for submissive males who want to have their p-spots (prostate spots) optimally stimulated while paying BDSM. You can achieve pleasure by pushing the long plug into the p-spot and pulling it back to shock the anal sphincter’s nerve endings.
The plug itself is made of a soft rubber that resembles silicone. At the same time, it is tough enough to hold its shape firmly and consistently. The rubber also made the toy easy to push in and pull out without causing unexpected pain.
Its smoothness makes the plug hard to keep in. Design-wise the shape can be made narrower at the base and fatter at the head to make sure that the whole thing enters completely.
The funny
It’s funny how couples would prefer a figure of speech interpreted as literally as possible. More than superiority, the dominant half will feel comic entertainment. Did we mention that the squiggly tail is big enough to actually move with the submissive half’s body? It’s also big enough to be used to literally manhandle your partner through the butt.
If your partner has no sense of humor or hates being comically ridiculed more than anything, don’t use this. We’re all for fun and games but unwarranted actions are a big no-no. Do it if your partner loves being called “piggy.” He/she will never forget the arousing humiliation.
4. Area 51 Love Doll
Let’s admit it. Inflatable dolls are some of the most pitiful extreme sex toys for couples. Its own market is the frustrated sex-starved washouts of society and virgin male teens with pimply faces.
We also have to admit that this odd simulacrum of a three-breasted extraterrestrial has a healthy market in sci-fi-obsessed sex-heads who have always dreamed of (or already had) encounters with aliens. Yes, this can even appeal to female sci-fi geeks. Would you have an alien friend as a threesome partner? This is definitely something out-of-this-world.
If ever there IS an alien like this, the authorities will probably NOT talk about this. They’ll have it for themselves. Imagine the stigma that will arise if some NASA-CIA jerks are discovered to enslave an innocent alien just because its holes look like they can accommodate phallic organs. That sounded like a nice plot for a sci-fi conspiracy movie that horny alien fan-couples can enjoy.
This purple PVC doll needs powerful lungs to blow it up. It would be great if you have a foot pump or an electric pump to blow it up for you before it blows you back. After being properly inflated, it will stand 5 feet tall. All you need is to apply some free alien lube to start. If there are puncture holes in unintended places, repair it with using the kit that comes with the doll.
Extreme sex toys for couples – value
It’s really fun to imagine how aliens look like. Everyone is free to imagine their own ideal alien. It would be very practical if an alien visitor whould be female and have a pussy-shaped mouth, three nice tits (not for size-obsessed men), assholes for ears, and suction-cupped fingers. Would it be surprising if they are really hiding something like this in the fabled Area 51?[outgoing link=”http://sextoplists.com/10-best-superhero-porn-parody-costumes/” text=”10 Best Superhero Porn Parody Costumes” align=”right”]
On a more serious note, the true value of this doll is not in its technical function, but in its identity itself. It is an alien. It just makes you imagine different scenarios with it. It’s something comparable to a tech platform, whose value is offering the opportunity for more value to grow. You can think of the purple alien as a stranded extraterrestrial who uses sex to communicate with humans.
You can also treat the doll as an enslaved being in its own planet that got invaded by human space colonizers. How about a scenario where the alien gets impregnated by the husband and impregnates the wife at the same time? Sick weird? It might even be just the start. The wonders are limitless.
The alien’s mouth, ass, and vagina are penetrable to a maximum depth of 5 inches, just enough for sensational stimulation. Lube up this blow-up dolls love holes and enjoy or insert a smaller male masturbator for a more flesh-like experience. With the Area-51 love doll, you can’t simulate porn-level sex.
The funny
The fact that it exists is funny enough. What’s more ridiculous is the fact that even women enjoy this doll. First you need an obsession with sci-fi roleplay. Anyone thinks the same might be right. If you want to know if it’s possible, it’s up to you and your friends to prove yourselves right.
The manufacturing of these things offers a clue on what humans can possibly do if they have all the materials and ways to make an item that can actually simulate real human flesh and fluids.
3. Hooded Spandex Full Body Binder Sack
This is one of the more niche-type sex toys around. It’s unknown if this even qualifies as a toy, as it can even incite fear in many individuals as a sex article.
If this appears as a gift under a Christmas tree on a holiday season, would you feel special? What if your partner gives himself as a gift to you this way?
This hooded body bag is not for people who are allergic to spandex. This is one of the extreme sex toys for couples that doesn’t suit everyone.
The value
This hooded spandex full-body binder sack is said to be very comfy that you can spend your night in it. This has to be the creepiest sleeping bag to have.
To anyone who has the slightest chance of mistaking it for a real sleeping bag, know that this is actually a bondage “toy.” It’s supposed to restrain a submissive partner and instill claustro-fear in him/her.
It would’ve been less creepy if it’s straight up dark and brutal, but it’s neon and the design is so simple. It just takes the shape of the human inside. Simple as that. What if you enter the house and see this on the sofa? You’d really run away. You’d think that some government agency is playing mind games with you.
The funny
You won’t even know if this item is seriously for BDSM use or for pranking. Normally, people need an obvious signal that you’re up for some domination-submission activity but this can actually pass as a bag for for formal wear.
2. Artificial Hymen – Extreme sex toys for couples
The artificial hymen is created for women who hide the fact that they got their vaginal virginity conquered by some lucky bastard, hoping that they can make their future husbands feel better about themselves.
It would work for sexually conservative cultures. In a more liberal setting, it will feed the dirty imagination and fantasies guys obsessed with the thought of being the first. You can use it as a woman who wants to replay their first time. You can simulate as you become impure and thus considered as a whore by your parents.
Sounds complicated? Yes. But the use of this item is not. It’s unknown of there really are men and women who think like that but this is beyond our topic.
The value
To use this hymen, insert the red translucent film inside the vagina no longer than 20 minutes before the intercourse. Once a penis penetrates the vagina the fake hymen will bust and leaks a substance that looks like blood. Imagine popping a sachet of ketchup. Combined with superb acting skills, this can be a great valuable toy to satisfy both man and woman.[outgoing link=”http://sextoplists.com/top-14-sexiest-asian-pornstars/” text=”Top 14 Sexiest Asian Pornstars” align=”right”]
If this really does work for women, this can actually be a cheap alternative for hymenoplasty. Ridiculously huge expenses won’t be necessary at all! Extreme sex toys for couples usually don’t cost much.
This product might be the most accepted toy in countries sitting on cultural extremes. You can find this product in a market in East Asian freak pornography, as well as Southeast Asian prostitution industry.
If there’s any real use for this item to couples, it’s how it provides an outlet for a couple to release their frustrations towards bigoted organized religious groups. Like the alien doll, you can form different sexual scenarios involving this iconoclastic item.
The funny
The item itself is not that convincing (may even look gross) but humans become more imaginative and less grossed out whenever they’re in the peak of their sexual arousal. Furthermore, would this item work if you inserted it inside the ass? How does an anal hymen appeal to people? And it will surely simulate bleeding. However, the bleeding will be for different reasons.
1. Baby Jesus Butt Plug – the best extreme sex toys for couples
In the eyes of traditional Christians, this has to be the worst of the worst.
Maybe the manufacturers would want to gain sales from anti-Christian people after causing a huge uproar in Christianity-dominated countries. They might also have a deeper motive in manufacturing this embodiment of Christian sacrilege and blasphemy.
The value
In Christian theology, Jesus is the son of God, the Light of the World, and the Prince of Peace. The manufacturers want this device to live up to the “Prince of Peace” epithet by ensuring that it will be the best pacifier to appease people’s sexual frustrations.
This device is pretty cost-efficient and environment-friendly. It does not come with anything but a Holy Communion cloth, not even a box. This toy is made of a silicone-like substance (just like any other dildo). And the face of the baby Jesus has chubby cheeks and rounded forehead.
You need a healthy amount of lube to insert this and if you lube it generously, it will go in smoothly. The irregular bumps do not feel off at all. They work like indicators that tell you when you’re inserting it too far.
Extreme sex toys for couples – the funny thing
Other than the label, the dildo is just a baby-shaped toy. As far as reviews are concerned, nothing indicated that this toy performed miracles like restoring virginity (see artificial hymen above). It doesn’t increase penis size or cure impotence. If there’s anything funny about it, it’s how sometimes looks like a creepy monster baby.
A funny thing about the essence of this item is it might be trying to represent an idea, which may be the quote about religion and penises. It says that it’s fine to have a religion and be proud of having one. But it’s totally unethical to whip one of these extreme sex toys for couples out in public.
